(bare with me since english is not my first language – but I try my best)
Have you ever tried to be in a state of fear 24 hours a day? I hope you haven’t, because being in that position is sometimes too hard to cope with.
I have lived with anxiety for about 14 years now. In between I have had great times, where I was able to control my mind, but I have certainly had really bad times, where the anxiety had a firm grip of my mind and every day was only about surviving.
People, who have never experienced anxiety have no chance of knowing what we are going through. They cannot imagine how painful and limiting it is, when your body reacts with fear towards a non existing threat.
There is a huge difference in how people chose to deal with their anxiety. Some take larger or smaller doses of medication, some go through a lot of therapy and some chose to fight the anxiety on their own. No matter what you do it is – in my opinion – important, that you do something. Only from awareness you are able to deal with it.
This blog is my story. This is how I have chosen to fight anxiety, and even more important to me, my contribution to raising awareness about Anxiety and Depressions.
Today I am letting you in on the general part. More will come in the following days, weeks and months.
So – I have lived with Anxiety and Depressions for 14 years now. It all broke out from stress. I was a working mom of two small children, married, living in a house and had a great life. I started this new job after having been on maternity leave with my youngest. It was a stressful job and suddenly I found myself having migraines way too often. Aura attacks where I couldn’t see and couldn’t speak. I tried to hang in there, but one day I broke down crying in a huge panic attack. I was hospitalized and my brain got scanned – nothing there (except what is supposed to be there). My doctor prescribed anti depressives, but I had to change the medication a few times before we found the right kind for me.
During this time my marriage suffered big deal. After having been sick for a year we ended the marriage. Due to my mental challenges it was decided that the kids should be living with their father, because at that time, he was the one, who could provide a stabil home for them, and through everything my main concern has always been my children.
Through 14 years I have tried almost everything. Medication, psychologists, shrinks, acupuncture, NLP (neurolinguistic programming), psychotherapy, combinations of them all – yeah, you name it.
For the past 6 weeks I have felt better than ever. I have been doing all the stuff I couldn’t do for 14 years. I am now combining more kinds of medication with a new psychotherapist, with whom I feel so safe and I feel she understands everything I say and feel.
First important step is to aknowledge the problem and then find the treatment that works for you.
Don’t give up – treat yourself like you would treat your suffering child. You wouldn’t give up on your child, right? Never give up on yourself either 🙂